We recently moved from the metroplex to a small town over 2 hrs away. Moving the business has been much more difficult than I ever imagined. Since work and income has been scarce my wife is pushing me to “go back to work”! I was down one day and applied for a management position at a nearly college in cybersecurity and technology. I got the job and will start in about 20 days. In the meantime some projects are starting to take off. I want my family to be happy, financially stable, and most importantly as stress free as possible. I literally do not know what to do. If I take the job I may lose all the traction I have finally made in our new location. If I don’t take it, I am pretty sure she is out. She is just tired of squeaking by. I mean I am too, but if I give up I lose. Grrrr….
Posted by Mexzkn
13 Comments
Choose your wife, she is more valuable than any venture.
Keep the job and your wife.
If you truly believe in your business, then continue it with courage. Tell your wife this is what it takes, and then sell your life to it. Every day it’s a grind.
Okay #1 You’re the man. Don’t let scarcity mindset kick in on behalf of your wife. You’re the one in business. We can go back and forth all day about how she should be supporting you or not. That’s not the point, she’s gonna be emotional and worried and feel all sorts of things. But this is a good thing. It provides you fuel to push even harder and seek more business.
#2 Don’t give yourself an excuse to stop chasing freedom, your mission, your wealth, and sanity. Hate every day of your life or take it in your hands.
#3 When in business, you’re gonna come across all sorts of attack vectors. Finances, relationships, health,etc. How you handle these things bounces around in your relationships. Similar to business, you sell the dream to your investors, employees, customers. It’s the same for the relationship. You’re investing into her and she’s investing into you. Sell the dream. If not, how’s she supposed to know where this ship is going? It’s all the same.
Your mental fortitude will be what defines you here and what separates you from the working class and the owning class. Go ahead give up. I dare you. Just quit.
…or go collect a few more credit card numbers.
Been there, dude. Tough call, but follow your gut, not just the $$
Don’t talk about problems. Talk about solutions. You’re the CEO. Imagine you worked for someone and all you heard was maaan this contract sucks. It’s slow to pay, it’s too little money, whatever the case may be. You’d leave lol.
Frame it positively. We just landed a huge client boom! The greatest part is, since the ramp up is slow, we can dedicate even more time to sales, that means more money! We can add this client to the sales deck. It’s all positive. You’re in business.
In the art of war it says appear weak when strong and appear strong when weak. Control your feelings.
Can you work the business part time around the new job? When I started my business I worked it nights and weekends for the first 9 months before quitting my FT job. If you can put the extra time in it may help relieve the financial stress. Doesn’t mean you have to do both forever. See which one Pam’s out in the end but enjoy the extra income in the meantime?
Not enough to decide.
Do you have kids? Are you an entrepreneur at heart who needs to run a business and will be miserable with a job? Can you make the business work if you keep pushing? What makes you happy?
There is a reason most entrepreneurs are divorced. Most partners can’t take the ride, it’s certainly not easy. There will certainly always be challenging times, even if you make it through this round, you’ll probably experience something else down the road. Can you both stomach it?
Don’t be quick to pick a person over a business. Sometimes, that’ll bite you in the ass. People like to talk such a hypothetical, hollywood type BS narrative like “oh love, pick the woman, sail off into the sunset and be happy and in love”. Sometimes, that is bullshit. Because you could pick her, be unhappy with your job, she cheats, and you break up anyways.
Edit: best to sit down with her and put all the cards on the table. All the scenarios and tell her to be real honest with you, and you be honest with her.
I’m bootstrapping a startup of mine which had been a dream of mine next month. Any advices?
Work a full-time job for the stability while you hire people with the opportunities of your business. That’s what I would do.
https://davidallencapital.com/partner/
Check it out and see if you want to take the challenge🇺🇸
For me it took a lot of mediation with a couples therapist to get to the roots of the issue. My wife thought I worked too much. I thought it wasn’t that bad. In reality she really just didn’t get enough time with me and she wasn’t really mad about the dishes not being done. I shifted my schedule a bit and I acknowledged what she wanted and things are a bit better now. If you have to skip therapy, the TLDR is to express your needs to eachother, validate those needs by repeating them back to eachother with understanding, and then trust each other that both people are truly working to solve the issue.
Holy shit a reddit thread that doesn’t say divorce her immediately. Lol but ya in all seriousness your making the right move. It’ll not be ideal but you can find a way