Title. both in shock currently. I'm 23 and she is 21, I'm AD Air Force E-4, she's a civilian barista. The only debt either of us have is her car which has $15,000 left at 8%.
- Savings: $15,000
- ROTH TSP: $15,000
- ROTH IRA (Vanguard): $8,000
What do we need to do financially to ensure we are prepared? Literally any advice will help, thank you
Edit: thank you everyone for being so helpful and reassuring.
Wife is pregnant, freaking out, please help.
byu/Open_Reindeer_6600 inMilitaryFinance
Posted by Open_Reindeer_6600
22 Comments
If you arent ready, you can always get an abortion and try again when you are more financially secure. If you want to have a kid this young, then I would only pay the TSP 5% to get the match, then pay off all loans as quick as possible so you have the extra income when it arrives.
Breathe. You will both be just fine. You sound like you’re better off than most people I know so I don’t think you need to stress.
No such thing as being prepared. You are in a good spot right now, so don’t take on more debt. Also, the items to splurge on are safety items like car seats and strollers. It’s fun and exciting to buy things for the baby and the nursery but the baby furniture business is like the wedding industry, mostly a scam. You will spend $1000 on a fancy changing table with all of the attachments just to end up changing the diapers on a changing mat on the floor. I remember I was deployed when my ex wife was pregnant with our daughter and I had to freeze my credit card because she was putting us into almost $10k debt when I was just an A1C.
Honestly, it’s going to be ok dude. Having a kid while being AD is living life on easy mode. Congratulations. Start a 529 plan once the child has a SSN.
Figure out childcare, on base is typically most cost-effective. Call them up and see if there’s a wait-list and the process. Attend all the baby classes offered to you, they’re pretty helpful and have some free stuff.
Make more money. Children cost a lot, no simple trick or other way around it unfortunately.
Hello. Congrats on the pregnancy. Confirm you want to know how to prepare financially for a kiddo? Kids are expensive. But they are awesome. … your numbers look okay for your age. Do not go crazy buying baby stuff. A used stroller, pack n play, and clothes are ok … Invest in a good rocking chair or glider and things to make your wife more comfortable. But do not go overboard buying designer baby clothes that get worn once and eventually ruined by poo, puke, or a combination therein. … the military has pretty solid benefits (free medical, legit paternity leave, and even new parent classes). Ask around your AFRC/MFRC and the hospital where she will deliver to see your options. Congrats again!
Congratulations! It looks like you’re off to a good start on saving/investing. How’s your budget?
Attend the Bundles for Babies class at your installation. It’s a class run by the Air Force Aid Society. You’ll learn about kid related expenses, and they give out free stuff.
The New Parent Support Program offers various classes and support programs.
Research childcare options and costs now. Get on the wait list on base ASAP if that’s a possibility. Start setting aside the amount you would spend on that so you can see how your budget would work and you can build some extra savings. Same thing if your spouse is considering staying home with the baby.
Some organizations like the USO offer baby showers on base occasionally.
Make sure your spouse is on the Tricare plan you prefer. Child birth costs are very reasonable on either plan, but the provider options will be different.
Depending on your support system (family/friends). A proper baby shower and baby registry will give you a huge kick start. Tricare does free breast pump and obviously the birth itself will be paid. Just be ready to pay a few hundred dollars for ultrasounds etc. You look to have more than enough to be comfortable. I’ve seen people do it without a lot less tbh.
Yeah, so don’t freak out
You’re in a good position with Tricare prime to cover the cost of delivery, post-partum care, etc.
Don’t go crazy on buying too much for your first child. Your debt isn’t bad at all.
I doubt you’ll need to touch savings etc for your child. They start becoming expensive when they hit the early teens so you got a good decade to start planning for that.
You could transfer GI Bill or put money into a 529 plan.
Calm down. Head down to AFRC, and take classes on being new parents and raising a new family. They’ll cover a lot more than changing diapers. Finances, legal stuff, finding community. It’s gonna be okay.
I mean if you can’t afford a kid/don’t want one now you can always abort and try again when you’re ready…
AD Navy here. My wife and I were 21 and 20 when we had our first and poorer, literally no assets working through college. 17 years later we are happy with 3 kids and doing well financially. You’ll be fine.
I don’t know what your location is but Tricare will take a lot of the stress away, you shouldn’t go into any medical debt so there is that.
You’re doing well on your savings and retirement. Try to keep that up with the added cost of raising a kid.
What kind of car does she have?
What kind of help are you looking for? You actually seem in a fairly decent spot. There’s no concern for OOP payment for child birth. You don’t have much debt, but the interest rate is high.
Is the question, can you support mom and child on your income alone? What’s your take home pay?
Adjust budget to reduce your investment contributions to offset lack of spouse income if needed.
Congrats and good luck!
Is she planning on continuing to work?
If so, depending on the branch there are childcare subsidies. It saves us about 50% on regular rates in town per year.
Child care aware is the subsidy name when you Google it.
There is nothing to freak out about you should be celebrating unless you didnt want pregnancy. Being AD and having that stable paycheck is what allows you to be parents at such young age which is a good thing. Given your age i assume you are junior enlisted so probably not making a ton right now , but you’ll be more than fine. Pre k will start costing some money though in a few years so do your best and try to get promoted
My advice is don’t rawdog it unless you are ready to be a parent. Or be a gay. I’m super jelly of you TBH, good luck in whatever you decide to do.
Congrats! Kids are great dude, I’ve got 2 of them myself with another on the way. Startup expenses for a baby can range wildly depending on your plans. Luckily Tricare covers nearly everything dealing with birth.
Other good news is you’ve got time to pay that car off before your expenses increase (other than a slightly higher grocery bill since your wife will need considerably more food). Figure out how much of that $15k is your emergency fund (we keep it at 3 months of expenses), and throw the rest at the car loan.
Breastfeeding is free, but not every mother can/wants to and that’s fine. Formula is expensive, and babies quickly start eating a lot. Expect to add minimum $100-200 a month to your grocery bill just for that.
The nurses will tell you babies will go through about 10 diapers a day. If my count was right I went through something like 3000 diapers in the first year of my son’s life, so that seems somewhat accurate. They’re also about $40 for a box that will never seem to last long enough.
You’ll have to weigh her working vs the cost of daycare in your area (I’m assuming you don’t have the option to get out). Where I’m stationed, daycare is ~$1500/month for infants, and while the CDC on base is considerably cheaper, they may have long wait times. Look into childcareaware.com for the possibility of fee assistance depending on rank/location. You’ve got plenty of time for that.
For college, we save $250 a month in a 529 for each of ours. They’ll each have some portion of our GI bills (we’re dual Mil), but I’m saving like they’ll still need some help. I luckily had no student debt, but seeing my siblings deal with that has convinced me I want to minimize that for my kids.
Stuff like a nursery will also vary wildly depending on what you want. We were just gonna put our baby in a bassinet and then a pack-n-play as a crib which aren’t too expensive. My mother then decided her grandson HAD to have pottery barn furniture all throughout his room, but hey I wasn’t paying for it so sure.
It sounds like you’re saving already, so keep doing that. One of the best things you can do for your child is make sure you will never be a financial burden on them. They will grow up and leave the house to make their own money, but if yours dries up in old age you can’t really make any more.
On a non financial note: I know you’re panicking now, but things will be okay. We had our oldest when we were 24 and 23, and I wouldn’t change a thing. Now my son is almost 4, my daughter is 2.5, and we’re excited for a third coming soon. Being a dad is the best thing I ever did, and I’d much rather be chasing a toddler in my 20s while I have the energy for it than in my 30s. Feel free to DM me if you have any questions about parenting or just need some support.
Im an E5, only income in the family, you may have to slim your budget a bit, but its totally doable. Its totally worth it, wouldn’t trade my kid for anything.
You have savings? You’re fine. Not but seriously being AD you will be taken care of. Put a word out to a spouse in a spouses group and see if anyone has any baby stuff they are getting rid of. Or anyone you work with. Thrift stores too if you’re really trying to be frugal. Formula and diapers are what cost a lot. If she can breastfeed, that’s a win. If not, WIC should be available to you. Either way it should be, most likely. You can go the reusable diaper route too until the baby starts eating solids.
Tons of great advice here already so l will just add only a bit.
I’d say that as new parents, don’t be so swayed/influenced by people on social media/youtube saying that this thing or that thing is like a “baby must-have”. Know that one product that works for a baby may not necessarily work for yours. For example, so many may rave about an overpriced baby swing that they swear helps their babies calm down. That may be something your baby will absolutely dislike. When you become parents, you’re gonna be tired, sleep-deprived and potentially anxious. Learn what products are truly essential and what are just good marketing so you don’t overspend.
With kids, base buy-sell sites are awesome for clothes, especially the newborn to 24 months stuff which is often found in bulk as the individual resell is low. You can also get used cribs and mattresses that will last until about age 5. Toys as well as early development activities are often cheap on these, but you have to be fast. Strollers often pop up too – car seats have expiration dates and are questionable for resell… But that’s a personal choice.
Thrift stores are great too especially for kid’s shoes. They are a complete rip off brand new and kids don’t care until they’re older. My twins at age 8 are finally becoming choosier about shoes, but wear them until they fall apart so I don’t feel as bad about spending more LL. Toys here are hit or miss.
Financially you have minimal debt that’s affordable with the car. You’ll likely lose the 2nd income as being a sahm for her will be a better choice. Your medical will cover a lot of things that would worry most parents. In your shoes, I’d draw up a budget and assume that around month 6 your wife may stop working, but discuss this with her. Then list the necessities – crib, car seat, stroller, some type of changing table or table top accessory that attaches to a dresser, initial clothes, bottles, diapers, and other items I know I’m forgetting. Start researching what brands you want for bigger items and then watch the buy-sell page. A BOB jogger stroller for instance is ridiculously priced brand new, but often 50-60% used and was worth the money for us. You have time for all of this.