I read this as there’s 65% chance of no recession this year.
Equal_Efficiency_638 on
Almost like there’s something happening later this year where the CEO of jpmorgan has a desired outcome!
CallsOrPutsYES on
65% chance for calls, calls it is
expicell on
35% is a pretty odd number, where do they pull these numbers from? Their ass?
Kitten_Team_Six on
Im raising my odds of not giving a shit what JP Morgan says to 88%
Invest0rnoob1 on
 Please quit posting about these clowns. I can only laugh so much.
MeatoftheFuture on
Dimons been saying this shit for at least 5 years
marsbup2 on
Bro. They will buy the dip when you sell after reading this report.
VisualMom_ on
We 100% had a 40 minute recession twice this week, wake up JPM
Helpful_Win_9984 on
Like am I the only one who thinks this is weird and bad. Hey I’m a big American bank who makes money off the American people but I believe all the American people have a 35% chance of suffering for the rest of the year and potentially longer, no we won’t try and do anything about it. Now invest in us! Thanks!
Signed
J.P Morgan
Second thought, who the fuck are these people anyway
DemisHassabisFan on
Jamie Dimon is ghey be*r
KingJulianThe13th on
So… buy?
GeraltofRivia7770 on
There is a 35% chance OP of grandmas Intel money will make it all back in 5 years.
etch-bot on
It’s 50/50 in my book. It either do or don’t.
peekitup on
So calls are still more profitable than puts.
TankusAruelisJacksob on
Means the bottom is in
Terrible_Manager_370 on
I remember back in 2022 when the Democrats tried to change the definition of recession and Wikipedia had to lock that page down.
funkyk0val on
banks really want that rate cut
chatrep on
We still don’t seem to have a truly objective definition. Closest is 2-consecutive quarters of GDP decline. That would mean that this current quarter is negative as is Q4. Q2 was 2.8% and Q3 estimate is 2.9%. Sure, might have softened and miss a bit. But very unlikely it swings negative.
Btw… all that talk of recession couple years ago and we actually did have 2 consecutive quarters of decline Q1 22 and Q2 22. But people were like… oh, but this doesn’t count as recession because unemployment is so low.
In my mind, we already had our recession in 2022 🙂
StrawberrySuperb9229 on
They’re just trying to fear monger to buy stocks at the dips. So cringe.
Allinmoney on
JD is washed tf out. Semi retired ass. Warren buff would run circles around him. All day
TeenyFang on
Weren’t these the guys that dumped on retail for no reason last week?
DonutKryptonite on
Jamie Dimon, the Michael Bury of corporate banking
Appropriate_Ice_7507 on
Sounds pretty bullish to me!!
Last-Potential7918 on
JPMorgan, is this “recession” in the room with us right now?
DARKKRAKEN on
It does seem to be a bit of a perfect storm right now. Especially with the old reliable Intel taking an absolute beating.
buythedipnow on
They should just push it to 50% and then end of year say I told you so no matter what happens.
SellingCalls on
Im gonna inverse this
Thomvhar on
They are just making these numbers up at this point.
Pretend-Money-3758 on
From what I’m to understand is that over 90 percent of stocks are owed by only 4 percent of the pop and the top 1 percent is wealthier than all the middle class so any recession is novel and there more to the story
Dreadster on
Jamie Dimon’s been saying there’s going to be “an economic hurricane” for more than the past two years. The rain dancers dance, and then when it eventually rains, they become known as oracles. Laughable.
31 Comments
I read this as there’s 65% chance of no recession this year.
Almost like there’s something happening later this year where the CEO of jpmorgan has a desired outcome!
65% chance for calls, calls it is
35% is a pretty odd number, where do they pull these numbers from? Their ass?
Im raising my odds of not giving a shit what JP Morgan says to 88%
 Please quit posting about these clowns. I can only laugh so much.
Dimons been saying this shit for at least 5 years
Bro. They will buy the dip when you sell after reading this report.
We 100% had a 40 minute recession twice this week, wake up JPM
Like am I the only one who thinks this is weird and bad. Hey I’m a big American bank who makes money off the American people but I believe all the American people have a 35% chance of suffering for the rest of the year and potentially longer, no we won’t try and do anything about it. Now invest in us! Thanks!
Signed
J.P Morgan
Second thought, who the fuck are these people anyway
Jamie Dimon is ghey be*r
So… buy?
There is a 35% chance OP of grandmas Intel money will make it all back in 5 years.
It’s 50/50 in my book. It either do or don’t.
So calls are still more profitable than puts.
Means the bottom is in
I remember back in 2022 when the Democrats tried to change the definition of recession and Wikipedia had to lock that page down.
banks really want that rate cut
We still don’t seem to have a truly objective definition. Closest is 2-consecutive quarters of GDP decline. That would mean that this current quarter is negative as is Q4. Q2 was 2.8% and Q3 estimate is 2.9%. Sure, might have softened and miss a bit. But very unlikely it swings negative.
Btw… all that talk of recession couple years ago and we actually did have 2 consecutive quarters of decline Q1 22 and Q2 22. But people were like… oh, but this doesn’t count as recession because unemployment is so low.
In my mind, we already had our recession in 2022 🙂
They’re just trying to fear monger to buy stocks at the dips. So cringe.
JD is washed tf out. Semi retired ass. Warren buff would run circles around him. All day
Weren’t these the guys that dumped on retail for no reason last week?
Jamie Dimon, the Michael Bury of corporate banking
Sounds pretty bullish to me!!
JPMorgan, is this “recession” in the room with us right now?
It does seem to be a bit of a perfect storm right now. Especially with the old reliable Intel taking an absolute beating.
They should just push it to 50% and then end of year say I told you so no matter what happens.
Im gonna inverse this
They are just making these numbers up at this point.
From what I’m to understand is that over 90 percent of stocks are owed by only 4 percent of the pop and the top 1 percent is wealthier than all the middle class so any recession is novel and there more to the story
Jamie Dimon’s been saying there’s going to be “an economic hurricane” for more than the past two years. The rain dancers dance, and then when it eventually rains, they become known as oracles. Laughable.