'Twas the night before rate cuts, and all through the street,
The regards all restless, in anticipation of heat.
The bulls were all hopeful, their calls stacked with care,
In hopes that ol' JPow would soon ease the scare.
The bears held their breath, not trusting the game,
They’d seen it before and knew who to blame.
And I in my hoodie, the wife’s boyfriend on Zoom,
Were glued to the charts as we sat in one room.
When out on the web there arose such a flash,
I closed my meme stocks, fearing a crash.
I glanced at my screen, feeling jittery and raw,
And there on the timeline—what I feared—I saw.
It was Powell and gang, in a frenzy no less,
Discussing rate cuts, the markets a mess.
“Cut by 25? Or maybe by 50?”
Whispered the bulls, feeling quite nifty.
But JPow just smirked as he held up hand,
“You think you’re in charge? You misunderstand.”
“The cuts are coming, sure as you bet,
But inflation’s a beast we haven’t tamed yet.”
And I groaned as I watched, knowing what he would say,
“You’ll buy the dip, but your gains fade away.”
I stood by my screen, my face filled with doubt,
"How can I win if he bails markets out?”
He laughed as he left, and I knew in that flash,
That even with rate cuts, I'd still lose my cash.
So I sat down again, hand on my head,
I’m just a regard, and Powell’s in our bed.
'Twas the Night Before Rate Cuts
byu/Tahmeed09 inwallstreetbets
Posted by Tahmeed09
40 Comments
With this hype, I’m starting to feel like tomorrow might be the biggest day of my life.
A hold would be epic
visual mod wya? it’s the real Chad Dickens
Jpow would raise if he still had that dog in him.
100 basis points cut
This poem is why we have to raise interest rates to 12.6%
Well done sir!
Hahah I needed that laugh
Flat
Let’s give this person 🥇, well done much needed!
I love cruising around this sub reading the comments, but I never understood where the wife’s boyfriend one came from. Some sort of polycuck guy who was in the Big short or something?
Well done
*When all through the inverted yield curve not a treasury was printing,*
Rate cut leaked. 300 points cut
The hype tonight reminds me of the night before last NVDA earnings. Good luck regards!
25 point increase, fuck your calls
We’re gonna  until the 2024 Erection 
I’m bleeding out of my ass in anticipation of
JPOW is ready to rock!
https://preview.redd.it/g8luq301qgpd1.png?width=744&format=png&auto=webp&s=e2a8d1b3494018894079949ee8255f47d88af6af
What a great ChatGPT poem 🫡
This is great! You’ve got talent!!
It’s been a long journey since “we’re not thinking about, thinking about raising rates”
Yeah, the top is in
Spy seeing -3% tmrw 
This was well done lol
We need negative rates to ensure unemployment doesn’t tick past 4.3.
Yay the economy is struggling and rate cuts are needed to reduce the risk of a recession. Pump it!
Tomorrow JPOW will cut rates by 12.5 basis points just to fuck both your puts and your calls 
Twinkle, twinkle, market star,
How we wonder where you are.
Jay Powell’s meeting’s due,
Will it be 50 or 25 bps to chew?
Up above the world so high,
FOMC decisions make us sigh.
No one knows which way he’ll go,
Investors wait for rates to show.
truly does feel like christmas morning, but for who is the question
hit me with the .50 JPOW.
realistic prediction we get .25 and the dot plot suggests we get .50-.75 more for the year.
Nicely done, regard.
I can’t wait for “Grandma’s inheritance got run over by a reindeer”
Dude that was Awesome 👌
Why cant it be at like 9am or some shit to really make it interesting
I’ve felt it all week. It’s like Christmas for regards.
What would happen if Powell told his relatives to buy puts on TLT and IWM, and then raised rates 2.5% tomorrow? Frankly, even raising 0.50% could make him a trillionaire within an hour.
P.S., beautiful poem. You’re very talented.
Thanks for the laugh at the end. 👍
Thought this was written by AI and had to run a check its so good