I’m [M29], a teacher in Dubai, and my girlfriend [F29] is a senior software engineer. She’s completely burned out from her job and doesn’t want to continue for another day. She has some savings and is determined to start a business with me, right away, without testing it as a side hustle first.
The business idea relies heavily on my professional experience. I’d be the face of the business, responsible for generating revenue, while she supports with digital products and tools. While I’m optimistic, I also feel unprepared. Starting a business in Dubai isn’t easy—there are a lot of approvals and licenses needed. I’m also not sure about how I’ll market to clients or convince them to pay for my services.
My girlfriend is very optimistic and doesn’t seem concerned about failure. She’s not even thinking about what would happen if the business doesn’t work out, especially since the job market is tough right now. She wants us both to quit our jobs and dive straight in.
I’ve asked her to give me a year to get things off the ground before she quits her job, but she’s pushing me hard to start immediately. Every day, there’s pressure—she says I’m being too slow, pessimistic, and not thinking big enough. She’s emotionally drained and no longer wants to look for another job; she just wants to start this business.
We’ve got a business plan and investment ready, but it’s all our savings. I’m under pressure to make a decision and move forward, but I’m unsure if it’s the right one. I need some insights—should I proceed with the licensing and give it 100%, or take things slower, as I originally planned?
My GF is eager to leave her job and want me to start a business in very short time—Need Advice
byu/Adventurous-child inEntrepreneur
Posted by Adventurous-child
45 Comments
Starting a biz in Dubai is expensive and money runs out quick. Wouldn’t it be better if she took a break from her job so she can get herself sorted and you keep working, at least some money continued to come this way.
Take things slower!
I would never quit my job to start a business! You don’t know when you would be successful and make a profit but the bills won’t stop!
Yes that means working overtime but it is worth it
You need to do what you are comfortable with which sounds like the slower option but that’s for you to decide.
It’s tough to start a business and the planning side is crucial it’s not that it won’t work if you start right now but you might have a better chance with more solid foundations.
Why doesnt she quit and you help her part time? having 1.5 people working on a business idea is more than most entrepreneurs have at the start. Also possibly start at the start of summer break (If Dubai has that), so you can put more time in at the start.
Also be careful that you have the same objectives, Ive seen successful business partner couples, but my gf and I discussed business ideas and it turns out we would both approach business in totally different ways.
A business and investment plan is good to have, but do you have a MVP and how are you gonna make money the first 3 to 6 months?
Starting a business takes a long and expensive time before it generates profits. You must have at least one year of savings ahead of you to survive
Here’s the thing (speaking from experience)….if you are burned out from working too much, starting a business will NOT fix this. You will have to work wayyy more to get it off the ground. If you’re not ready, don’t do it
She’s gonna end up doing it to you what they do to each other in that industry. Probably unwantingly.
None the less your peace and relationship might get sacrificed.
Better take 3-4 weeks off and go to an aryuevdic/yogic retreat cool and clean yourself mentally and physically, slow down and talk about things.
Create a MVP before quitting your jobs or investing your life savings.
No, it’s a knee jerk reaction on her part. Don’t ruin both of your lives for it.
Is this a proven business in a validated market? As in, is there healthy competition and demand?
Why don’t you guys brainstorm about ideas that she can do by herself … you you still have one income
Oh hell no!
And going to $0 income as a couple in Dubai is a horrible decision.
I personally would also never go into business with someone who was only a girlfriend. Even as a wife the stress may very well kill the relationship.
Edit: And what ownership structure is she talking about and what skillset does she bring that you could not just have a work-for-hire contractor or fireable employee for? Sound like YOU are the one with the education, experience and skillset so why do you need her to run this? Why would you give a girlfriend ownership stake in a business that is 100% dependent on you?
And the whole pressuring you to do this is very problematic. Almost like she is YOUR boss. Is this dynamic going to continue in business operations with her treating you like an underling while she is CEO as “this business was her idea?)
Burned out at 29?
Your girlfriend may not realize how much work goes into building a business especially in the beginning stages. She will likely be working even MORE, longer and harder hours than at her full time job and there will likely not be much income at first. Even then the income will have to go straight into reinvesting in the business. She might even suffer losses at first.
I understand a lot of her side. I’ve been working full time and working on my company on the side for a year and I am only now starting to see a nice company profit. But I still can’t use most of the money for myself, I have to reinvest in the company. I am still worried about leaving my job that I’m very burnt out at despite my company’s success.
I’d recommend her do this. Calculate how much money she can afford to put into the business and also how much she needs to live on for the next six months if she leaves her job. Perhaps she could find a lesser paid but more relaxing job so something can keep the lights on without dipping into her savings too much? If she budgets and discovers she needs more money for what she wants to do, she should stay and work on her business on the side. She can keep saving until she can comfortably leave. Burnout is horrible, but so is the fear of financial insecurity.
As for your involvement, business only succeeds if the people driving it are hungry for it to work. A relentless drive is the only thing that will keep the business growing despite all the struggles that come with it. If you go into it with only one foot in, the business will not succeed. Perhaps that’s something you can discuss with her .
Good luck OP!
I have been through this *almost exact scenario except I run a small business rather than have a job. I say small because the money problems existed here at the time too.
My take would be this:
You and your GF pick up the phone and call every single person you know and have this conversation:
“The hi hellos, catch up on how they are doing. Then tell them what you are doing as if you are doing the business already and ask them if they know anyone who needs what you do/sell. “
Follow up on every single referral you can and see if you can find some customers. This could take only a few weeks depending on how hard you try and how much time you have around work.
If neither you or your GF is willing to do this step then DO NOT OPEN A BUSINESS. there are a million harder things to come down that road.
But if you guys do this, and do it with about 50 – 100 people. I can almost guarantee that you will be successful. This is one of the hard things that just needs doing in the beginning. It will change your life and your Girlfriend will be in a much much better place.
Go get some customers/clients first before making any big jumps
Also, and you may not want to hear this, if there’s already friction and the business isn’t started yet there will be more
Choosing a business partner is a BIG decision. And the criteria are often different than choosing a romantic partner. Mixing the two can be… complex
Doesn’t mean it can’t work. Just that compatibility is even more important. And already there appears to be a mismatch in terms of risk tolerance. Sorry to be a downer but needs to be considered!
It sounds like she’s conflating her freedom from a job she doesn’t like with the promise of a new business. And she might be confusing the promise she sees in your relationship with the changes of a successful business. Wouldn’t she also be moving from a job she doesn’t like at a company to a job she doesn’t like working for the two of you? Is it the work she doesn’t like, or the people, commute, manager? How are you two going to hold each other accountable for work for the business that you might not want to do?
It sounds like she’s conflating her freedom from a job she doesn’t like with the promise of a new business. And she might be confusing the promise she sees in your relationship with the changes of a successful business. Wouldn’t she also be moving from a job she doesn’t like at a company to a job she doesn’t like working for the two of you? Is it the work she doesn’t like, or the people, commute, manager? How are you two going to hold each other accountable for work for the business that you might not want to do?
Do you think she’s mentally ready to start a business? Being an entrepreneur is often much more challenging than being an employee, except in certain cases, like working in finance or dealing with toxic management.
I believe it might be best for her to take a break, recharge, and prepare herself. As for you, it could be wise to keep your job for now while you process this decision. Perhaps consider options like taking a three-month unpaid leave to focus on getting your business started and landing your first clients before making the decision to officially quit.
Also, just to note, having investors is like having a new boss, so I hope your girlfriend understands that dynamic.
Lastly, have you ever worked with her before? I ask because I don’t think it’s healthy for her to push you into quitting simply because she believes it’s the right choice. She should give you space to think it through and make a rational decision, instead of expecting you to follow her lead on this. Plus, in case the project doesn’t work, since she’s a software developer, it’s much easier for her to find a new job compared to you as a teacher.
“Senior software engineer” isn’t a solopreneur. The way she works isn’t how you would work solo. She has a huge safety net right now, maybe one that she doesn’t appreciate, and probably cannot fly on her own. An MVP isn’t production ready code automatically.
Take a vacation to escape burnout and have her build whatever she wants. End of the day “build it and they come” generally doesn’t work.
You can break up the business plan, into chucks of work she can do before you quit your job
Such as building the business back end, and a lot of other works, so at least you’ve got some cashflow coming in to support this work.
After some time, you’ll get closer to the tipping point of pursuing this 100% or not.
She’ll need to develop the digital product and tools before you can get on with the marketing.
Tell her to quit her job, build the product(s), get the first client, and then you can think about leaving you job and work on the business together. If she think she’s burned out from a job, she’d be burned out twice working on her own business.
No no no no no no no. Your runway cannot be dependent on your girlfriend’s mental health. She is going to still be burned out when she starts working for you and there will be that much more pressure when her relationship is tied up with the success of this venture. She needs to take some time off and get some help, not to start a business. Letting her rest for a few months and recalibrate is a better use of a smaller portion of your savings.
“I’m also not sure about how I’ll market to clients or convince them to pay for my services.”
Most people don’t realize this, but how exactly you market and convince them to pay, that’s often the business. Not whatever subject matter your service is. When you hear people say, they want to start a business around XYZ, what you might not realize is that the vast majority of their time will actually be in distribution, not XYZ.
What I am saying is, you don’t have the most important part (By far) of your business figured out yet. Figure that out first. Don’t jump in until you do.
The saying goes, first time founders focus on product, second time founders focus on distribution. What that means is, you may think the idea is good, that you can deliver the product. But that’s not actually what is going to increase y our chance of success. What is going to matter most is how you market and convince people to pay for your service. Second time founders learned that the hard way, like I fear you are about to learn the hard way. By the second business, they learned from that mistake and realized what is actually important. Sounds like you would make that mistake as well.
What I would tell her, is first relate, get on a personal level with her that you understand the urgency. Love her, and make her feel heard. You understand exactly why she is in such a hurry. You get it, fully. But there is indeed a right way and a wrong way to do this. The chance of success is in the lower single digits as it is, if not less. But by making smart decisions, you can increase those odds, one by one. One of the smartest decisions you can make is to learn about what those who succeeded did that those who failed did not. Read up on those startup tips. Which in my opinion, focuses on that distribution from the start. This is something you can do now to what they call “Validate” the market for your idea, and more importantly “Validate” your ability to reach that market.
If she’s forcing you into making what I would call, a very not-smart business decision. You need a hard stop. Whatever that takes.
On the flip side, people that jump all in before learning the distribution aspect first, they do sometimes succeed. Its very rare, but they do. The thing though is, they learn that distribution in a hurry. They focus on it as soon as possible. Because not doing so, will be the death of the opportunity. Then you are both back, working for jobs you hate, likely for less than you made before. With no savings, possibly a lot of debt, and not in a good place mentally.
I was also very optimistic that I just need to start a business and that everything will just work out. That was 7 failed businesses ideas, 2 successful but failed due to sudden law changes and one (now pretty successful) business ago. Even though I have a successful business which makes the monthly salary of my job in a day, I still do a job so I can reinvest everything into the business.
Point is, don’t take such a big step so suddenly. Validate your idea slowly with low risk and slowly transition into the business as it starts to generate enough money to run the household and atleast 30% more.
Also another reason why I do a job, business earnings are different every month (other than some business models like service businesses). Yet your monthly expenses are fixed. So you need a minimum earning to pay for the running of the household.
Please show her the stats that 90% of startups fail and that’s due to inadequate cash flow and risk management. The cash flow can come from the job and the risk also gets mitigated due to the job.
It’s not going to happen. It could, but it’s a shot in the dark and not at all reasonable for someone who wants to maximize gain and minimize risk.
If you can’t talk her out of it, I’d reconsider the relationship. I wouldn’t even consider a business relationship with someone who refuses to listen and is only acting on their immediate feelings.
I can try business with her. I’ll let you know the outcome later. You can support monthly though.
So you haven’t tested.
You are investing your life savings.
You have no clue how to acquire clients.
If it fails you have no backup.
Recipes for disaster….especially by the tone of your post, you’re not committed.
Build an app that gets rid of real estate agents and buyers agents
This is called manipulation. She’s clearly not thinking straight and you’re clearly intelligent. Better to stand your ground. She will either leave you or respect you more for it. Either is better than losing your job and your life savings simultaneously
Someone has to be good on sales/marketing for business to thrive.
Starting a business is not a good replacement for a burned out employee. It will burn you out even more. Why is she pressurizing you, if its her idea? Could she not learn and take on what she thinks your work is, if she is that optimistic? Or collaborate with someone with similar skillset instead? There are cofounder matching platforms that can work well for her.
Also, if its a software related business, why do you have to spend so much. You dont need inventory and machinery and stuff. She has software skills, why burn out your savings? There are many saas and nocode tools that can reduce launch time and costs too. This seems not well-thoughtout and you both dont seem like a good fit for business partnership.
Personally, I would not do anything professionally with a girlfriend. Wife, maybe. Girlfriend, not a chance. What happens to the business if you break up?
take vacation, get a job thats more chill, work on side hustle until it makes money. if shes never done it before, its unrealistic to make money that quickly. unless she has savings for like 2-3 years
This is a recipe for disaster. Reread your post, she wants YOU to do all the leg work. Unless you’re emotionally and intellectually invested, you’re doomed and you’re going to be the one doing all the work and dealing with all the stress.
Partnerships seldom work out and that’s what she’s trying to make this. You need to stand your ground and probably dump her. Most businesses take a long time to become profitable and her goals an expectations are very unrealistic and unreasonable.
My own business is doing well, but it took 2 years as a side hustle, a lot of marketing and investment.
Don’t do it, stop her now before all your money is gone and you two can’t stand each other.
You can just say no…
definitely start out small, baby steps. it sounds too risky to go all in starting out. if she wants so desparately to start a business she should take the initiative and do it. work on it where you can, but it seems foolish to drop everything for a business that you’ve barely begun to start working on. good luck with whatever you do.
It sounds like a challenging situation. It’s important to balance optimism with practical planning. Perhaps starting the business as a side project while maintaining at least one steady income could mitigate financial risks. This approach allows you to test the business model and make adjustments before fully committing. Open communication about concerns and expectations is crucial here. Wishing you both the best in making a decision that feels right.
Starting a business to ease being burnt out by a job won’t work. The stress will be ten fold
So she’s burned out of being an employee and she thinks being a founder or starting a business is easier?
Lol
Don’t go on to this reddit thinking you will get good advice.
Terrible idea, gf is delulu or a gold digger, find a new one.
You are thinking right.
Dont do it.
If she Thinks stress and burnout from a job and her escape is starting a business. Ive got bad news for her, But its even worse.
Bigger responsibilities, now you dont have anything Secure. Say goodbye to Security especially in the begining.
The only Secure thing is, if she Dosnt work and get results and clients. She loose a lot more. Than what she would in a job.
If she’s drained from her job, then the reality gonna hit her hard.
The best answer is to get money/income/revenue in the business while she works at her job. Yes that means basically 2 full time jobs. Yes its 60-80 hours a week. Its normal to do This, in the begining. If you dont, you Will not make it.
If she cant sign up for that, then she should start a business.
But what she needs to prove to you, is how bad she wants it by action.
Get clients NOW in the business. Not wait. Do it now. Make her a sales person.
She needs to prove to you how bad she actually want to be an entrepreneur. Before ever take that jump. Action, not talk.
Do anything to get sales.
And for legal stuff, just know in the begining. It Dosnt need to be perfect from the start.
Have a Company, payment processor, bank account. Make sure you the minimum reguirement to do the thing for clients. You Can even wait to get This and get clients first.
The game is sooo different. Its a lot more about being streetsmart. And just have access to minimal stuff. And dont say no to money. Buy what you need, when you’ve closed clients and got the money. Dont go out and invest too much money. Also your work places Dosnt need to know what you do outside of work. Keep it secret or atleast dont share it if you dont have to. Be smart about it. And ofc dont put anyone of you in a bad spot. But make the business grow and then you can quit.