I started my business at 40. After 9 months, it's starting to "cashflow" though it's not enough to pay my bills. My business involves a passion of mine so it's fulfilling in that way.
Since I left my high paid (stressful) job, I've watched friends get Phds, have kids, get married, buy houses, and get promoted. I'm happy for them but also feel like they're "surpassing" me in some way. I have to stop myself from looking at jobs and have pep talks with myself to justify why I'm taking on this risk.
90% of the people in my life think I'm crazy or 'going to fail' or that it's a stage. Working from home doesn't help with the alienation. How do you cope with it?
How do you cope with feeling alienated?
byu/hail_robot inEntrepreneur
Posted by hail_robot
13 Comments
You never really know tbh, alot of businesses fail or don’t make money after years of hard work. Some people just don’t let it go before it’s too late.
Zoom out 10 years – your upside will be higher than theirs. Comparison is the killer of joy – what they’re doing has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Cut those 90% of people out of your life – they’ll call you lucky when you do make it and turn on you because you took the chances they didn’t.
Hey brother…I’m early 30s now with a young kid.
Left my last company 18 months ago, I was the first employee of that company, when I left they had 400+…after 6 years.
What did I get after all that time? Nothing.
They basically screwed me out of my equity and lowered valuation so much I would have gotten like $30k out of it.
The last 18 months have been TOUGH…having to hear my friends talk about buying houses, or going on vacations whilst I’m having to worry about my water bill or rent.
But you know what? I wouldn’t change ANYTHING.
The stuff we’re learning by building a business that actually solves problems and provides enough value that people will PAY YOU for it?
That shit is priceless.
Just remember when shit gets rough, that being an “entrepreneur” can sound sexy to outsiders, but only people who have REALLY DONE IT…know the pain and sacrifice it takes.
So when we both come out on the other side of this with the success we always imagined…these hard times will be the “good memories” we look back on.
If it was easy, everyone would do it.
Keep at it, and report back in 10 years when you’re successful.
Look man, you’re building something from scratch…. that’s no small thing. Most people will never have the guts to leave a comfortable paycheck and take the plunge into entrepreneurship. Sure it can feel alienating when you see your friends ticking off those conventional boxes. But youre on a different path, one they might not fully understand, and that’s fine
Instead of focusing on what you don’t have compared to others, focus on what you’re creating. Most people don’t see any cashflow in 9 months…. so you’re already ahead in the startup game
Also find people who get it. Whether its online communities or meetups with other entrepreneurs, get around people who understand the grind you’re in. And remember, you’re building something fulfilling… how many of your friends can say theyre working on their passion?
Your journey’s yours, so own it!
Honestly, I admire your courage. You’re doing something so many people are too afraid to try! It’s hard not to compare, especially when everyone seems to be “checking off the boxes.” But remember, you’re building something meaningful to you, and success takes time. Surround yourself with those who support your journey and lean into your passion—it’s your unique path. You’ve got this!
You should always only compare yourself to yourself and compete with yourself. The race is against yourself.
Everyone criticized my wife and I for the path that we chose mostly because we have a lot of children.
We even sold our home and bought a camper to live in so we could heavily invest the profits into the expansion of inventory to try and keep up with sales growth.
I guess it’s been a year or two since we had to sit down our adult children and then our younger children and explain our situation. Over the years, making these tough decisions and sticking to our plan, our company climbed into the eight figure revenue with eight figure profits. We don’t have any employees. We pay ourselves mid six figure salaries now. We’ve also built other assets and investments on the side that bring in a strong six figures in addition.
All people saw on the outside were our tough decisions that we made to downsize our lives so drastically. They knew we were struggling through the first three or four years and thought each year after that, we were still struggling because of the way that we chose to live.
Now, there’s a mix of you getting lucky and resentment, and some are very happy for us. We may not have made it. Then it would have been, I told you so.
Now the new argument is, why do you guys do anything, because you don’t need to do anything ever again? That’s not the way that we think. We are almost a year ten. When we hit year ten, our revenue goal changes to $1 billion in revenue. We don’t ever plan to even tell anyone we know this because we’re not going to be supported.
We understand that the fight is with yourself every hour, okay of everyday. You have to continually unfold your life’s purpose and try to pull it off.
Keep your chin up. You are in no man’s land and it’s a lonely son of a bitch. It’s a season though. Now, some seasons, last days, some seasons last month, and some seasons can last ten years.
Can yall pls upvote this so I can posts. thanks
To be honest, I’m struggling with this myself. And it has me so bummed out that I’ve sort of allowed myself to stall out and am going broke…. while there’s other factors disturbing and distracting me (relationships and living situation) there’s still plenty to do and I still go to my office and just don’t do much….
One of the things I have written down on my to do list is to “ *join an association of people in the industry that I’m in.*” ..On my unwritten list is to “get involved with the local Chamber of Commerce.” I would also like to get a mentor.
Reflecting and adding: My shared office mates (co-working space with family friends) have been planning a wedding and tbh that’s caused me to alienate myself as well. from communicating with them, from being at the office while they wedding prep. etc.
How about stop looking at social media? You are seeing what the person has achieved but not seeing the fact that the kids probably a pain in the ass. The wife is nagging the person to death. They don’t even like the job they work in. You are 40 years old. You should know this by now. Always think about the negatives that person is not showing the world on social media. That will put things into perspective.
What you’re experiencing now is precisely why most people take the corporate route. At least you’re guaranteed something: respect and a sense of security. You get status. Most people cannot deal with having zero or low status.
As an entrepreneur, understand that most of your existence will oscillate between the lowest of the lows and the highest of the highs. That means you have to get comfortable with having no status initially and be OK with the inevitable disrespect that will come with that. That is all part and parcel of the game.
The most upsetting part is that you aren’t met with love and admiration when you finally obtain status, AKA success. Instead, the majority of people hate you for it.
So in the 9 months since you’ve quit your job, everyone’s gotten PhDs, married and bought houses? Numbers don’t add up, or you’re just sooking. Nine months is nothing lol. I’m 29 and been at this for 10 years.
I’m 27. I am in the same boat, the only difference is that my business makes nothing right now. Imagine yourself at 27, people were having kids, tried to buy houses, get married, have all good paying jobs (they all say they love their job but I guess it will change soon)…
I’m here, no money, no jobs that provide money, with the same friends asking me to come over and spend more and more time spending what I don’t have yet.
I mean, your business is running, thanks yourself for that. Then realize this is not the same path. We all did not choose the simplicity here.
Maybe change your friends if that’s too much. I totally understand, even my own family put way too much pressure on me. Keep it up
Comparison is the thief of joy