Hi all,
I’m 34 and have been running my family’s transportation business (NJ/NY) since 2015. Before 2020, we were bringing in close to $400K annually, but between family issues, lack of control, financial mistakes, and the impact of COVID, we’ve plummeted to less than $100K this year. In 2020, we received $500K in EIDL funds, but the cash is gone now, and I feel responsible for not investing it wisely. Back then, I was too afraid of making the wrong move, and now I’m stuck in a cycle of guilt and regret over those decisions.
My income is tied to my parents, and it’s getting more complicated. My mom is ready to retire and has a plan to sell some real estate to ease the situation, but my dad (68) refuses to step back. He still believes we can operate as if the business were thriving, despite not having the cash to support his ideas. Working with him is exhausting, and we’re running in circles.
In the meantime, I’ve started a few fragrance ventures that give me some hope and energy, but it’s not enough to make a living yet. On top of that, I’m emotionally drained from being so caught up in my family’s issues—my brother’s addiction and my parents’ rocky marriage, which has also affected the business.
I’m torn. Should I quit the family business and find a stable job to pay off my debts? Or do I keep holding onto my dream of pitching my fragrance business to investors, hoping it will eventually pay off and help me get back on my feet financially? I'm married, and thanks to my amazing husband, I'm able to float by without having to pay rent.
Right now, I have $50 in my account, maxed-out credit cards, and I’m battling depression. I don’t know where to begin, and the weight of everything feels overwhelming. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you balance family obligations, mental health, and transitioning into something new?
Posted by burnt-cookie
21 Comments
Balancing family obligations and personal dreams in challenging times is rough, and you’re not alone in this struggle. A couple of strategies might help you navigate through this:
1. Assess Your Finances: Consider sitting down with a financial advisor. They can help you organize finances, prioritize payments, and perhaps identify opportunities you hadn’t considered for both the family business and your personal ventures.
2. Communication and Boundaries: It might be beneficial to have a candid conversation with your parents about their expectations and your limits. Setting clear boundaries, especially with your dad, could help reduce stress and allow you to focus on practical solutions.
3. Support System: With your brother’s situation and your mental health in the mix, seeking a therapist could be incredibly helpful. They can help you manage stress and develop coping strategies.
4. Side Projects and Networking: While your fragrance venture isn’t a full-time income source yet, networking with other entrepreneurs or joining local business groups could open doors to partnerships or support that you may not expect. Also, consider platforms like Kickstarter if you’re looking to pitch your fragrance ideas.
5. Exploring Jobs: If changing your current situation feels urgent, look at part-time or flexible jobs that allow you time for your fragrance business on the side. This could start easing your financial stress while giving you space to grow your passion project.
Remember, taking small steps each day can lead to significant progress over time. You’re navigating complex emotions and responsibilities, but focusing on one task at a time might make things feel less overwhelming.
Start a gratitude journal. It will help rewire your brain for positivity. That alone is priceless. Best of Luck. Break Things into Managable Sized Tasks, and then Do Them.
Has your father seen the numbers? Has he been made well aware of the expenses he’s incurring and the impact on the business?
If I were you, I’d step back and do my own thing until pops was ready to hand over the reins because fighting against him will require 2x the effort for likely the same yield that normal effort into your own venture would provide.
You have a brother with addiction problems and a dad with expensive business delusions. Something you probably need to hear, because you’re likely wracked with guilt, is that you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
Go build your own empire and if it makes you sleep better at night, promise yourself that you’ll be their safety net if they need you. But if they won’t listen to you, they don’t need you right now.
If you want to minimize your operating costs , I can help you setup off-shore support. It has helped smaller companies to leverage that cost saving to add more towards marketing or other avenues will still maintaining high quality. Investors look at ROI and if you can reduce your cost of operations you can show them higher profits. Well I guess we can setup a zoom meeting and see where and how I can help you. Rest I hope you can figure it out
Don’t lose hope.
Bringing in 400k annually and you managed to snag 500k in EIDL funds that didn’t require payback?
Were you profitable at 400k revenue?
This sounds awful. But maybe you need professional help in the form of a business consultant to help at this stage to save the transportation business. It may cost, but it’s make or break at this stage. They can tell if there is a future and / or make recommendations.
It’s like getting Gordon Ramsey in to check out the restaurant business. This is the most basic analogy.
You won’t get the specific business help from reddit because we don’t have access to the books and are probably not qualified either.
So you have some intangible assets—people that know how to “transport”. Get up every day and go look for transport business and charge the highest price you can for your services. Get paid for what you do.
Get a job and pay debts, refresh your mind. Save up then start rebuilding slowly. I am going through a similar situation (you can check my comment history) If I quit earlier on , o wouldn’t be in this situation (still paying debts 2 years later) anymore . All the best
In complicated situations like yours, it’s better to get some outside professional help. An outsider can provide more objective feedback and will likely have more specialized knowledge that could be useful. In your case, starting with a small business consultant might help your dad see the real situation of the business and not dismiss it so easily. They can also give guidance on how you can dig your business out of the hole it’s in.
You can offer to pay based on performance (might only work with newer consultants looking to establish themselves). E.g. if the business grows x amount because of their advice then you can offer to pay them a percentage of a pre-agreed fee.
Good luck!
Go back to what was working. It’s time to go back to the basics. You dad needs to step aside, sounds like he is an ideas guy. For him, the mundane is boring. You need to focus on getting more business, training employees, streamlining processes. Rinse and repeat. Sales is the lifeblood of the business.
I’ve been through this several times. The first thing to do to grind your way out of this is ruthlessly cutting out every expense. Even if it’s a $5/m recurring fee, cancel it. That forces you to confront many things about your business and yourself. The first step is to slowly, systematically “right the ship.” You do it in small increments. I always start with the expense category first because it’s guaranteed money, and it slowly rebuilds your confidence. It also takes a lot of psychological weight off your shoulders.
Have you gone through every inch of your business looking for things to trim?
The next step (I don’t have time right now to write it out) is to start refocusing on the basics. Basics win, and often, when a business grows too fast or too loosely, you pick up a lot of bloat and bad habits.
However you feel don’t forget you dealing with your dad. It’s not the simple partner. Whatever he is now don’t forget there were good times and now there is bad times…you don’t want jump boat at worse time. Luckily you married. Cry on your hubby’s shoulders….unless it’s rocky there too.
Three things you can do;
1. Do a business writeup with a recovery plan…to show the oldman and keep as record of you tried
2. Explore your fragrance…seriously (yeah, l know its difficult to do two things well)
3. Then keep put…and watch.
Of course problem is the debt. That sucks when you’re down.
You’re not alone.
Don’t give up OP
Get a job. Make sure you exercise. Even a punching bag and punch it all out would help.
Your family business is not your business. You can’t fulfill your dreams if you can’t eat. Survive, get a bit of headroom and then move to invest. Also, your parent’s marital problems is not your problem. Your mum wants to sell down, you dad doesn’t, its on them to sort that out.
Your dad and the way he runs the business is in contrast with you.
Well in my opinion family is all we have in this world and we can’t just walk away from family the thing is we don’t know what tomorrow will bring us and money can ruin people life doesn’t come with a book and we all make mistakes in life but will you be able to live with yourself if you walk away and get a job your parents won’t be on earth for ever im 56 years old and i lost both of my parents and my brother was murdered in 2017 and I wish I could turn back time but we can’t and I guess family is all we have money is not everything keep you family together all of you can do anything together I hope this helps you and I feel your pain god will not let you fail just stick together
Go find your own path, you’ll be much hsppier
Get a job. Try again later.
What kind of a job would you get?
Hi .. I am sorry to hear you are in this thick soup. Why you are in loss ? Is your sales went down ? What are your top three issues? By the books , where are you loosing money ? Suppose you let this company go, what is your next plan of action ?
How many vehicles/drivers does the business utilize,? Are the only shuttles and/or cars? Did you consider maybe driving/renting your vechiles to adult day care programs?