I (M33) Right out of college I started a business, for multiple reasons I lost it all and dealing with failure and anxiety of becoming a 'has been' , it's my biggest fear now, i could have been something, lot of decisions which felt right at the time but time proved it wasn't, I feel foolish and i m not what I thought I was..sot of like an identity crisis ..I'm rethinking who I am and what I'm capable of.in midst of all this ..is business not for me..should I attempt again…self doubt and anxiety clouding over the mind .
In midst of all this my father passed away and all my ancestral property and wealth will be gone soon due to some liabilities of my father. I'm left with nothing but memories of financial and personal losses. and I was ambitious before now I'm scared of ambitions
Currently I'm trying to get a job starting out with no relavant experience with internships and all. I'm wondering this it all to life…
Tried ,Failed and lost entrepreneur – fear being being a 'has been'
byu/Fit-Bird-1601 inEntrepreneur
Posted by Fit-Bird-1601
8 Comments
Did you learn from past mistakes? You either succeed or you learn.
Did you manage to earn money in any way? If you were comfortable with selling things, than you might build upon this skill (selling, marketing). If you liked the creative part more like writing things (books, email), creating things (handcraft, code, etc) then continue on this track. If you enjoyed managing, look where you can start there. Might be entry level, though. I also recommend picking one of those things that made you money, even if you did not enjoy it because: knowledge + experience > experience. But starting something without any experience will be like “welcome to the first grade”, you also won’t get paid :/
The issue I have with entrepreneurship is that there is so many good literature that solves things well but I don’t know whether I found the knowledge yet to unstuck what me blocks the most. I still love it and I am still not good at it. If I recall correctly “The hard thing about hard things” says that there is no standard solution and no one blueprint for like every decision one has to do as an entrepreneur. And all of them will be hard.
Paraphrasing Alex Hormozi: If you thought entrepreneurship will be hard, and it is hard right now, than this is what “hard” feels like.
The most valuable things I’ve learned, that will help me (and maybe others) making less mistakes in future:
* The market must tell you, that they need your thing, even before you build it. (Not: you think that the market needs it, the market = people have to actually tell you that)
* I won’t start the next thing alone. Did it a couple of times, was awful.
* If I don’t have a network I will get stuck, because there will be always an obstacle that is currently bigger than what I can handle now.
I am also sorry for your loss but you actually describe life, this will happen to all of us in unexpected situations.
My mind-frame for deciding whether entrepreneurship is the right thing for me, or whether I should getting a job again: There are way more things I will need to learn and it will be way harder than I think it will be, do I want this? (Oh and “hard” will be way harder than I think it will be)
So far I answered yes every day despite lack of success.
Obligatory fancy entrepreneur quote at the end: “Fall 7, raise 8” [Nana korobi, ya oki](https://slidebelts.com/en-de/blogs/blog/nanakorobi-yaoki?srsltid=AfmBOor1WenMSvZktxNhWtDS6MAfDg5-vUDYzsa-L5JVS7B2xTRLJaqK)
I want to start by saying congratulations. You did what many people don’t have the balls to do and that’s try. I (m31) am in a similar but different scenario. Out of college I started working in finance, stayed in it for over a decade until covid hit, then rolled the dice on self employment. What i’ve learned is that failure is all part of the process, and that you should be embracing it and learning from it. We are not defined by our past, and the future isn’t controlled by what we’ve done/experienced. Look forward to what you’re going to accomplish, not what you haven’t already. The only way you’ll ever be up as a “has been” is if you let the anxiety overwhelm your sense of judgement. You know what’s best for you. You’ll make the right choices for yourself.
I’m 30 and had a similar situation where I had a succeeding business and then due to a malicious actor it failed.
My plan has been to get a job in sales to make enough money to start a new business and succeed again, learning from my mistakes.
Winners are the best losers.
You only ever fail if you let mistakes crush your ambition.
So, in my previous comment I fed my ego by saying all those “I understand you, it is hard” and I sincerely mean every word. But it is out of my way now, so lets focus on you, because I have questions:
1. Why did you become an entrepreneur in the first place? This basically determines everything else. Did you want to build something big? Did you want to make a ton of money? Contribute to society? Having a bigger yacht than Bezos? Care for your family? This determines the direction you should have gone and helps you evaluating whether the direction you actually went was aligned with that.
2. In the country I live usually debt or liabilities are not easily passed after somebody dies. Is this different in your country? Can you deny the legacy or so?
3. When you had your business, did you plan for the downturn? I mean shelving money for bad times, protecting it by wrapping business in a legal entity, not taking personal debt that could ruin you, etc? If you did not, why?
Also: when you decide answering questions of a complete stranger, let me deepen this: Are the answers you are giving your real answers or are they alleged (if this makes sense in English) to look good but are not truly yours?
Nothing to worry , gain back your confidence start again .. tyrion lannister speech see … Many people succeed at a very late age.. just start anything for now and then slowly build your life..
get some m ore experience in the field you want to work in, and try again!
Brother, we’ve all been there. Multiple times. I know it is immensely difficult. The most difficult part of the process is not the actual building of the business itself. That’s easy compared to the years spent riddled with doubt, dismay, and angst with nothing to show for it.
From my own experiences, a couple years of highly focused effort can change your entire life around. It takes time to find what that thing is, but once you do and once the mojo returns, it’s remarkable how easy it can be.
So with that said, bide your time. Perhaps take up some side gigs like Uber or DoorDash and make extra income while you regroup and recondition yourself. Sometimes ambition can fade away. Sometimes it comes roaring back bigger than ever.
All you can do is wait it out and keep thinking about entrepreneurship. Keep reading, keep watching videos, and keep experimenting with small endeavors on the side. Good luck.
I started my business at 32, it succeded. What is the main difference between you and I? Very most likely luck.
I got lucky meeting my partners and I got lucky that i made… the right choices (mainly where to do it, what i was good at etc).
In my opinion if you risked it all and worked hard it’s all that was required from you.