Just needed a place to vent a bit. I come from very humble beginnings, grew up with a single mom etc. Never had much money, but we had the basics. The first time I flew on an airplane was when I was 21.
I started my company when I was 19, I’m 34 now. Doing well.
I noticed that many people are struggling with finding jobs / complaining about the job market. I suggested to look into starting their own company instead (simple one-person service / contracting company) and try to offer services in the same field they’re looking for jobs in, because it will likely expand their options a lot in the long term.
The overwhelming response has been something like: I’m delusional, I must come from money to have succeeded, I don’t understand the struggles of the ”ordinary person”, etc. But I’m that same person. I came from nothing. I just want people to realize that there are more options in life than just being stuck in the ”someone give me a job” phase.
It’s like the same people who shout for equality and assumably want disadvantaged people to succeed in life, will immediately turn against the same people as soon as they’ve found some success.
I just don’t get it.
Rant: After pulling myself up by my bootstraps, I’m now seen as ”elitist”
byu/Blomsterhagens inEntrepreneur
Posted by Blomsterhagens
13 Comments
Some people don’t want advice. They just want to vent/complain to someone.
I’m also in a similar situation. Raised by a single mom. We never went hungry and we always had gifts at Christmas time. So we were not poor, but probably just your normal blue caller single parent family. Anyway, I’m in my 30s, and my wife and I make just under $300k a year with no kids. It’s crazy the things people say (including family). The thing I hate the most is “you are lucky”. Like I lucked into my job… Any one could have done what I did. I’m not very smart, I didn’t go to college. It’s not luck, it’s not being lazy and having a victim mentality. I swear the excuse is always something like “o your so lucky, nothing ever goes right for me”. These same people will have the same job making $20 an hour and always complaining about their jobs but be too lazy to do anything about it.
Who cares what youre seen as. Remember, negative people say negative things because they have a negative mindset. Thats why they’re in a negative situation. You can’t change that with a reddit post lol. That takes years of therapy and requires brutal self-honesty and a deep-rooted desire to want a better life that is bigger than money.
Might have to hear from those who are viewing you this way. It’s certainly reasonable that it is as you describe. I’m not casting doubt on that. But sometimes those who have gone from nothing to successful lose all empathy for those still struggling. They come across as, “I proved you can do it with hard work, so there’s no excuse for you.”
Honestly don’t sweat it and just do you. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to make sense of this haha. It’s very real
Everyone doesn’t want what you do. That’s to work hard and be self sufficient. I get this all the time but I’ve never let it penetrate my mind and my drive to push through. Keep doing you bc I do the same thing in giving them advice instead of my hard earned money. If you can’t do what I do every single day then I can’t help you. I don’t work hard and run a business with just enough rest to rinse and repeat daily just to give it to you. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t lose sleep on it.
be like “cant hear the critics over the sound of my balltrain”
I came from a similar place. As things improved in my life more of my family and friends started to resent what I had. These are the same people who watched me work my ass off to take a forward step or two. All while they did nothing and drank away any extra they had.
I feel like as I progressed, it was a constant reminded that they were sitting in place. They were not happy for me.
In the end I moved on. That was over 20 years ago. When I run in to those people today, they are in the same place they were in back then. I just give a nod and keep going.
you’re not seen that way by anyone of consequence. thats something you should always remember.
people in your life either make you better, or make you worse. its up to you to prune the herd. blood relations as well. you have no obligation to be kind to someone who wants to tear you down constantly just because you’re related in some way.
its like losing weight. the better you eat, the more you exercise, and the better you look,… the more everyone around you tries to sabotage you… ultimately your hard work says something about their poor work ethic. your ambition says something about their laziness. your compromise and sacrifice says something about their just “wanting to relax and have fun and enjoy life”
as an example, if you see your eyes on competing in a bodybuilding competition, you might as well just tell every “friend” to fuck off on day one. it will happen eventually regardless because all they’ll do is try to derail your efforts every step of the way, so they’ll feel better about themselves and not feel shamed by your progress and success.
Yep. Now everyone will accuse you of daddy money.
I get your take.
I’m an entrepreneur too and at the moment, the small business economy is killing my business.
Many people try entrepreneurship and fail.
It’s true that many entrepreneurs came from money and had a but to start with.
Entrepreneurship just isn’t for everyone.
So if you push it to people who are already stressed out and they don’t actually ask you about entrepreneurship, it could come off as myopic or arrogant.
I get your take, but I do think as you succeeded in the first try, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy and you fought for it I get that, but as you succeeded you assume everyone can.
There are a ton of posts in this sub of people who failed or are failing.
I’d say if people ask about it, or if you mention it and they express enthusiasm, go for it.
But it sounds like you’re pushing it to people that are not a fit.
I’m sure there are a ton of people that would love a mentor if you offered in the right spaces.
Just my take.
Congrats on your success. Be proud!
Good luck,
I experience this as well. I don’t know the answer. I just keep encouraging others, helping in every way that I can, with the goal of lifting others up.
Congratulations on seeing your path through and continuing to better yourself. We have to put our oxygen mask on first to help others with theirs.
Question for you. Are you still running that same business you started at 19?
Because statistically, about half of all businesses fail within 5 years – 60-65% within 10 years. I’m not saying luck is the main thing that got you there, but I am saying that it’s not so easy and simple that the vast majority of people can keep it going and keep it profitable in the long term.
So, while a lot of those comments are entirely on them (scarcity mindset, lack of belief in themselves, feel good excuses to justify not wanting to try, etc.), do examine yourself from time to time and make sure you don’t fall into survivorship bias. It’s a weird place to be while trying to stay humble. You want to see yourself as a normal person, and that’s good because in most ways you are, but you are statistically above average when it comes to business. Not everyone is built like you.